I feel like social media has allowed us to mask the fact that we don't have to have it all figured out. Algorithms are constantly churning up curated images of perfectly displayed lives where everyone smiles, color tones are balanced, and imperfections are FaceTuned and Photoshopped away. Gucci belts and square-jawed Instagram boyfriends run rampant, and wavy bronde (that perfectly balanced dye job between brown and blonde) hair makes the whole news feed look like one giant ocean of having-it-all-together. Even the babies are aesthetically dressed, for god’s sake.
I’m not writing this for the purpose of hating on anyone or their lifestyle. Even if I were a hater, that wouldn’t be on them—they would continue living their lives this way because (hopefully) it’s a lifestyle that makes them happy. I love color-balancing my pictures and facetuning out all the random bruises I acquire, so I’m no martyr in this situation. And I know we’ve all heard shit like “comparison is the thief of joy” and “social media is a highlight reel” so I’m not here to preach that we’re just all humans, either. I’d hope we all know that.
My question—and it’s a loaded one: in a world where we try so hard to put forth this perfect, untouchable version of ourselves at all times, do we truly know where our hearts are at?
I ask this to you, but also to myself, because I sometimes try even HARDER to make everything look all good and great and perfect when I feel lost or unsure in life. I know I’m not the only one who does this. It’s this mental game where we’ve almost been conditioned to seek external validation through social media when we’re trying to justify why we’re in the situation we’re in. We want to feel like we’re living a life that others can look at and be inspired by, even though it may pain us to be living in the reality.
Again, I’m NOT saying that posting pictures that you’re proud of (be it your body, your house, your family, etc.) means that you want attention/validation/are a miserable piece of shit. Social media is an amazing platform for creatives and if that makes you HAPPY and you LOVE it, that’s amazing. I’ll just full-circle it back to the question: where is your heart at?
I used to have a severe eating disorder. I fed the discomfort by posting pictures of my body/workouts/”clean meals” because people would like it and comment that it was “goals” or that I was inspiring. I felt like shit, but social media, and the validation that came with it, was a band-aid for my emptiness. After I finally snapped out of it (shoutout to my therapist, what a queen) I realized I was a huge fucking fraud. I was literally feeding people UNATTAINABLE AND UNSUSTAINABLE IDEALS while hiding the fact that my career, relationship, and health were all blowing up in my face as a result. Most importantly, though, my heart was not in a loving, centered space. It was suffering, and I was lying.
So, I know that was a pretty heavy example, but I challenge you to truly dig deep and find out where your heart lies in every aspect of your life, before you share it with the world. It takes practice, and lots of introspection. Full disclosure—ever since I got back from Hawaii I’ve been trying to heed my own advice to figure out what my heart needs, as well as being transparent in the fact that while I go on beautiful vacations and have amazing experiences that make up the majority of what I post online, I’m in a tough and confusing patch of the journey currently. It all ebbs and flows. But I can curate the shit out of it, make it look all nice and throw it to the hungry likers, or I can get ugly with it and keep it real (while still putting a nice preset on the picture).
And when you’re consuming someone else’s content: always take it with a grain of salt.
Xx,
Anna